Sexuality and relationships presented in New Zealand film, especially in coming-of-age films, are usually complex and dark. They frequently touch on themes of infidelity, sexual discovery, and unconventional relationships. The relationships presented in the film “In My Father’s Den” are no exception to this. They’re gritty and complexly intertwined with one another, withholding information from the audience until the final reveal at the end of the movie. Released in 2004, “In My Father’s Den” was directed by Brad McGann and was based on the book written by Maurice Gee. It focuses on the relationship between Paul Prior, who has come back home to rural Auckland for his father’s funeral, and Celia Steimer, whom he believes to be his child. The film shows strained marriages, exploitative affairs, religious guilt, and ambiguous emotional attachments, making intimacy far less genuine than it should. “In my Father’s Den” presents uneasy and inappropriate relationships that display sexuality as unstable and confusing, where desire is scrambled with power, age, and repression, and exposes these tensions within this rural New Zealand community.

 

       Paul Prior, the main character of “In My Father’s Den”, had a close teenage relationship with a woman named Jackie Steimer before Paul left home at 18. They were close physically and emotionally, fooling around and promising each other they’d be with each other forever. Midway through the film, Paul takes Jackie to his father’s ‘den’, a secluded study that his father, Jeff Prior, had trusted him to keep secret. When Jeff walks in on them there, the film creates an unsettling moment of tension between Jeff and Jackie that foreshadows the later revelations surrounding their relationship (McGann, 2004, 01:12:36). Towards the end of the film, Paul discovers his mother outside the den, horrified as she watches Jeff and Jackie having sex inside. This revelation directly leads to Paul’s mother committing suicide in the river outside their house, and Paul’s decision to leave home. The audience later learns that Jeff had a pattern of pursuing much younger women, not just Jackie. According to author Walescka Pino-Ojeda, “…Paul had also left behind his father… [father was] occasionally accompanied by young girls who granted him sexual favors.” (Pino-Ojeda, 2015, p. 596)

 

       When Paul comes back years later for his father’s funeral, he’s pressured into working at his old high school, where Jackie’s daughter, Celia, quickly becomes attached to him. Because Paul has repressed his childhood and locked away the memories he had from before he left, Celia begins to function as both a reminder of Jackie and a reflection of the unresolved trauma he attempted to escape. Their relationship blossoms because of this. Initially, Paul thinks Celia is his child and treats her like the father he never had. In Maurice Gee’s original novel, Paul’s feelings toward Celia are also implied to contain a repressed sexual element, further complicating the nature of their relationship. Celia is then to be revealed as the daughter of Jackie and Jeff, making her Paul’s much younger half-sister rather than his child, which reframes the entire narrative (McGann, 2004, 01:47:57). Through Jeff’s exploitative relationships with younger women, the film creates a cycle where intimacy becomes tied to betrayal, secrecy, and abuse of power, and this leads to far later issues for Paul, Celia, and Jackie.

​

       As previously mentioned, Celia is the child of Jackie Steimer and Jeff Prior, Paul’s father. Paul’s father. Much of the film centers on the relationship between Celia and Paul, while contrasting their connection with the other strained and dysfunctional relationships throughout the narrative. As the film progresses, Paul gradually begins to take accountability for the emotional consequences of deserting his family and leaving home years earlier. With the help of Celia and her prying nature, Paul’s stunted emotional development begins to unravel, and she indirectly forces him to come to terms with what happened in his past. Director Brad McGann explained that one aspect of Maurice Gee’s novel he “felt compelled to change was the dynamic of Paul and Celia’s relationship,” (McGann, 2004, p. 6) and wanted to make the sexual tension less sexual. However, traces of this ambiguity clearly remain throughout the film. McGann further states, “For the first time in his adult life, Paul has feelings for another person, not recognizing that these are of a protective nature.” (McGann, 2004, p. 6) We see this protectiveness come out when Celia goes home after spending time with Paul, and her stepfather, Gareth, hits her. Gareth is also emotionally stunted like Paul, but deeply resentful of Celia’s relationship with him, and very controlling of her. He takes this anger out on her, inflicting bruises. When Paul realizes what's happened and who’s done it, he rushes over to Jackie and Gareth’s house to confront them. Things escalate, Paul yells, “You touch her again, I’ll kill you.” (McGann, 2004, 01:14:14).

​

       Paul’s feelings toward Celia are shown as protective rather than sexual, which is exactly what McGann was attempting to change in the film. However, there’s an ambiguity in their relationship throughout most of the film. This uncertainty reflects the film’s broader portrayal of sexuality as emotionally unstable, where intimacy is difficult to separate from guilt, memory, and projection. Following Celia’s disappearance and eventual death, Paul holds an overwhelming amount of guilt, as he was the last person to see her alive before her death. He blames himself for keeping her plans to leave New Zealand a secret and for allowing himself to become emotionally vulnerable through their relationship. Paul let her into his life, allowed himself to be intimate, and even brought her to his father’s den and relived those memories he tried to get rid of. He feels that he has a very close relationship with her and feels a sense of remorse or even shame that he let her die.

​

       Celia, however, experiences the relationship differently. Celia feels suffocated in her small, rural town in New Zealand, feeling like her soul is older than her body. She writes like Paul does and acts like an adult. Paul treats her with respect and intelligence when no one else does. She initially feels that sexual attraction, being a young teenage girl who “was merely suffering a typical teenage crush for someone older and worldlier than her,” (McGann, 2004, p. 6). The reasoning for Celia going over to Paul’s house to “interview him” for a class project, which she lied about (McGann, 2004, 01.34.01.15), is because she feels some desire towards an older man she may believe is unattainable. This teenage crush, combined with the intoxicating allure of his worldly experience, makes it hard for her to stay away from him, even after they’re both forbidden from seeing one another.

Rumors spread throughout the town after Celia’s disappearance that she and Paul had a sexual relationship. During police questioning, Paul’s nervous, evasive answers only made him seem more guilty, when in reality he was just hiding the fact that Celia wanted to leave the country. When the police officer O’Neill asks Paul about the books he’s been lending Celia, he awkwardly stammers, “I didn’t, I, I didn't keep a record to tell you the truth…” prompting O’Neill to respond, “What? Other things on your mind, did you?” (McGann, 2004, 01:00:25). Similar accusations come from Jonathan, Paul’s nephew, who directly asks him, “Were you having sex with her?” (McGann, 2004, 01:19:42) and from Andrew, who bitterly tells his brother, “God knows what you're doing with [Celia] but then like father, like son!” (McGann, 2004, 01:47:39) The fact that nearly every character immediately interprets their relationship sexually demonstrates how the film positions desire as something inseparable from suspicion and moral corruption within this isolated community. Paul and Celia’s relationship destabilizes traditional boundaries between protection, intimacy, and desire.

​

       Andrew Prior is Paul Prior’s younger brother in the film. While Paul was closer to their father, Jeff, before he left home, Andrew was closer to their mother, Iris. Iris suffered severe bipolar disorder (McGann, 2004, 01:09:43), was deeply religious, and thought sex for pleasure, rather than procreation, was a sin. These beliefs heavily shaped Andrew’s outlook on life and understanding of intimacy. The closeness of Andrew and Iris’ relationship is established early in the film during one of Paul’s flashbacks, showing a young Andrew laying on his mother’s lap as she plays with his hair (McGann, 2004, 00:09:20). When young Andrew spots young Paul watching them through the doorway, he gets up and shuts the door ominously (McGann, 2004, 00:09:30), creating an atmosphere of secrecy and exclusion that foreshadows the emotional divisions within the family. Andrew was also emotionally and sexually stunted like Paul was, but for much different reasons. The religious guilt and trauma from his mother committing suicide and his brother leaving on the same day, his father was discovered to have had an affair, had left Andrew’s comprehension of sex very similar to his mother’s. This becomes especially clear later in the film when he angrily blames Celia’s very existence for the death of his mother, shouting, “Our mother died the moment that bastard was conceived!” (McGann, 2004, 01:48:14)

​

       Andrew’s discomfort with sexuality appears repeatedly throughout the film. After his son, Johnathan, receives a camera from Paul, the young kid takes scandalous pictures of Celia without her consent. While developing the photos in a makeshift dark room, Andrew walks in on him and confiscates the photos, saying, “You disgust me.” (McGann, 2004, 00:31:11) to his own son. His reaction demonstrates not only his strict moral outlook but also the extent to which sexuality has become associated with shame and contamination in his mind. Andrew shows his sexually repressed side in his relationship with his wife, Penny, as well. In one scene, Andrew wakes from a dream to find Penny attempting to comfort and sexually engage with him (00:47:02). Andrew looks extremely uncomfortable for a moment, then recoils from her intimacy and coldly tells her to “Go back to sleep.” (McGann, 2004, 00:47:46). The next scene we see is Penny in her bathroom crying (McGann, 2004, 00:47:54), clearly upset with her husband’s lack of affection and intimacy. Andrew’s religious upbringing changes his sexuality into something shameful and frightening, leaving him emotionally incapable of healthy intimacy.

​

       Paul, unlike Andrew, is totally comfortable with sex, but can’t seem to handle the emotional intimacy. In an earlier scene in the movie, Paul is seen taking a Scottish woman from the bar back to his place, but during sex he repeatedly avoids kissing her, visibly uncomfortable with the emotional closeness she attempts to create (McGann, 2004, 00:43:46). When she doesn’t give up trying to kiss him, he takes the belt off his jeans that were laying on the floor, and wraps it around his neck in an attempt to redirect the encounter into something detached and impersonal (McGann, 2004, 00:44:09). She seems disgusted by Paul’s strange behavior, and leaves his apartment abruptly. Although Andrew and Paul responded differently to their upbringing, both brothers demonstrate the damaging psychological effects of repression: one being repulsed by anything sexually explicit, and the other being repulsed by intimacy.

​

       According to Alastair Fox, “the tragedy at the heart of [“In My Father’s Den”]... lay in the damaging effects on two brothers of a repressive upbringing under the influence of a harshly repressive Presbyterian mother.” (Fox, 2017, p. 162) This repression also contributes to the strained relationship between the brothers themselves. During an argument about the lawyers regarding their father’s funeral, Paul yells at him, “It was a happy little… threesome - Andy, mum and God. No-one else invited.” (McGann, 2004, 01:34:04). The film demonstrates how repression and unresolved trauma distort sexuality in different but equally destructive ways through the contrasting experiences of Paul and Andrew.

​

       Andrew maintains a distant and emotionally restrained marriage with his wife, Penny, which contributes to her growing sense of isolation and distress. We see this when the film later reveals that Andrew learns of Celia’s biological connection to him early on, a fact confirmed when he states, “I didn’t even find out until I read the will. That’s how far back I was” (McGann, 2004, 01:47:15). Andrew, being aware that Celia is his half-sister, has more of a reason for confiscating the photos his son, Jonathan, took of her. Instead of disposing of those photos, though, he keeps them in a manila folder that becomes a recurring object later in the narrative. Penny eventually discovers this folder and finds images of Celia that she interprets as sexually suggestive and incriminating (McGann, 2004, 00:49:13). Penny, not knowing Celia’s backstory, immediately jumps to the conclusion that her husband, Andrew, is having an affair with Celia, and this is the reason for his negligence of intimacy in the bedroom with her.

​

       This misinterpretation escalates into tragedy in the film’s final sequence. After Paul gives her a plane ticket to get out of the country and promises to tell no one what her plans are, she starts to walk home. She is intercepted by Andrew, who seeks to clarify the truth about her identity and the family inheritance. When Celia requests proof, Andrew brings her back to his house (McGann, 2004, 01:48:58). Penny stumbles in on the scene of Celia looking around the office space while Andrew searches for the will, misreading the situation as confirmation of her suspicions. Still believing her husband is having an affair with this girl, her anger blinds her, and she pushes Celia off the balcony, resulting in her death (McGann, 2004, 01:51:21). As Andrew explains all of this to Paul, he claims “Mum wants it this way,” suggesting the continued psychological hold of his mother’s religious and moral influence over his actions. Penny’s misunderstanding of Andrew and Celia’s relationship shows how sexuality within the film becomes inseparable from secrecy, jealousy, and mistrust. We’re shown how distorted understandings of sexuality literally destroy people. Celia’s death occurs because of suspicion, repression, and secrecy that have so deeply corrupted the community’s understanding of intimacy. Every relationship in this film becomes interpreted through fear and shame.

​

       “In My Father’s Den” shows intimacy as never safe or understandable, and instead twists desire into something unstable, revealed through family secrets and poor moral choices. What seems like a true connection is repeatedly revealed to be a misunderstanding or failed recognition. Andrew’s repression, Paul’s struggle with intimacy, Penny’s misunderstanding, and Celia’s curiosity, eventually leading to her death, are all examples of this. Rather than presenting sexuality as something for clarity and growth, the film shows it as something shaped by power, authority, and context. In this rural New Zealand environment, intimacy is not healthy. It’s always being redirected, misread, or repressed until it collapses, or leads to an innocent girl’s death. By the end of the film, the consequences of this are irreversible, showing Celia’s death as accumulated misunderstanding from everyone in town, aside from Paul. This is proof of how quickly suspicion replaces truth in a community that’s so heavily shaped by secrecy and repression. “In My Father’s Den” ultimately reinforces its central idea that intimacy, when shaped by repression, power, age, and suspicion, does not turn into genuine connection but unravels violently.